Suffering Hearts
by njdevin529
Summary: This is a short one shot of Emmett and Rosalie fighting over the future they can't change and the past that can't be rewritten.


_Hey guys! So, so new fanfic. I got this idea while driving to work one day. I was listening to the radio, and for some reason, the scene in Eclipse where Bella and Rosalie are talking on the porch popped into my head. I started thinking, Rosalie sounded like she would do anything for her old life back. It was evident throughout the series that she had reservations about being a vampire, but while I was thinking about it, I began to wonder what Emmett would have thought of it, and how the two would deal with each circumstance where Rosalie might just lose it over being a vampire. So, this is a short one shot of Emmett and Rosalie fighting over the future they can't change and the past that can't be rewritten._

10/16/17

Suffering Hearts

Bella had left to be with Edward, but Rosalie stayed outside on the porch. Her thoughts were swimming with images of the life she had envisioned for herself so many years ago. Only before it had been Royce she imagined it with, and before him it was some other rich and handsome suitor. Now, anytime she thought of her future, she saw Emmett.

She looked over her shoulder and saw him on the couch, watching a game with Jasper. A smile graced her cherry-red lips. She loved him, and she was grateful for having him in her life. She paused, and her perfect eyebrows pulled together. She looked away. What life? she asked herself. She looked down at her hands. Yes, she was lucky to have Emmett, but he couldn't give her what she wanted: a family. And just like that, her happiness with him was instantly soured. She looked out into the trees covering the property. The truth was no matter how in love she was with Emmett, she couldn't deny that she still wanted everything from before.

She wanted the big, expensive house, with antique furniture, and she wanted to lounge at home with her servants, who cooked and cleaned for her. She wanted to wait for Emmett to come home from work, and after hanging up his hat and coat, he'd kiss her sweetly on the cheek, like Vera's husband had. She grimaced, that memory still caused her such pain. But not as much as the memory of the little, curly-haired boy nestled in her friend's arms. She saw the boy's dark hair and dimples, that so much resembled Emmett, and she wished more than anything that she could have a little boy of her own.

Her misery was escalating and she felt herself losing her grip on her sanity. She couldn't stop imagining her baby, the house, and her grandchildren. Their grandchildren. Anger started to seep in, and her hands clenched the railing so tightly that she almost splintered the wood. She would never have what ordinary people had. There would never be more than just her and Emmett.

She heard his footsteps coming over, and he put his arms around her, he gently pulling her hands off the railing. "Hey, wanna come inside and watch the rest of the game?"

She shook her head.

"What's wrong, babe?" he asked, concerned.

Her heart broke even more, because she knew how much Emmett loved her, and she loved him, but she wanted more. "Nothing, don't worry about it." Her voice was harsher than she'd intended. She didn't want to hurt him, but she was angry right now, and she wanted to be alone.

"Hey," he said, again. He turned her in her arms, but before he could try to console her, she shrugged him off.

"I don't want to talk about it, Emmett." She left him on the porch, going inside. Instead of going to find Alice or Esme, like she usually did, she went upstairs to the room she shared with Emmett.

She went inside and closed the door. She sat on the bed, still as stone. Her bright amber eyes darted all over her bedroom. Looking at her vanity, her closet, then she turned and looked at her bed. It wasn't enough. She had everything she could ever ask for, make-up, perfume, clothing, shoes, this wonderful bed that she and Emmet spent so many nights in. She had it all, but it didn't ease the ache she felt every time she saw herself in Bella's place. How could she not see it?

She was choosing to become a vampire. She was choosing to leave everything behind, her family, her friends, the chance to have a child, and grandchildren. The chance to grow old with someone. How could she be so blind? Infuriated, Rosalie flew across the room, grabbed a bottle of perfume and launched it into the wall. It shattered, sending glass and the sweet-smelling liquid all over the place. She had flung it with such force that before it broke, it made a dent in the wall. Esme wouldn't be happy about that, but she didn't care. None of it mattered, anyway. She flew to her closet and started tearing everything off the racks, slicing her clothes to shreds with her perfectly-manicured nails.

She was going at such a furious pace that she didn't even notice Emmett come into the room, not until she felt his bulky arms encircle her body and pull her out of the closet.

"Rosalie!" He said, harshly, holding her tighter.

"Let me go!" She tried scratching his arms, but he flopped her onto the bed, pinning her down with his large body. As a vampire, Rosalie was strong, but Emmett had unusual strength and he held her completely unmoving on the bed.

"What has gotten into you?" he rasped in her ear. He didn't get a response. She went limp underneath him, all the fight seeping out of her body. After a second, he let her go, rolling to the side and brushing the hair away from her face. She didn't speak.

Confident that he knew what the sudden outburst was about, Emmett asked, "Is this about Bella?"

Her head was still in the comforter, so she nodded.

"Babe, you have to let this go. Bella has made her choice."

"But it's the wrong one!" She pummeled her fists into the mattress, making dents into the material. Emmett reached forward and stilled her hands.

"Rosalie—"

She yanked her hands out of his, and moved to the opposite side of the bed. They sat in silence for a few seconds. Then, Emmett asked, "What can I do?"

She shook her head, wallowing in her own misery. "You can't do anything." She said, despairingly. And her heart broke knowing it was true. No matter how much he loved her he couldn't turn back time. he couldn't make her human again, or give her back those choices. They'd been ripped away from her.

"Then why can't you just let it go?" he demanded.

Let it go? Rosalie thought to herself.

"This is what we are now." He tried to take her hand, but she leaped off the bed, facing him. The rage in her eyes was something he'd never seen before. He'd tried to be supportive and understanding. He'd comforted her when she needed him, he'd left her alone when she needed space. But eventually, she always smiled and said she loved him, that he was the best thing to ever happen to her, and that he made her feel alive in this ageless existence.

Now, it seemed like neither of them could take anymore.

She bared her teeth as a growl worked up her throat. She held it back, not wanting to snap at him. "I'm not like you Emmett. I haven't come to terms with what I am. I may never fully come to terms with it."

"Why?" he asked, opening his hands, imploringly. "You can't change it, so why do you insist on latching onto this pain? Why do you dwell on something you know we'll never have?" She knew he was talking about children. "You have to let it all go." At his words, her anger reached its peak and she snapped.

"Because I still want it, Emmett!" He stared at her as everything that was bottled up came rushing to the surface. "And I'm angry. I'm angry that this happened to me, that I'll never have children, or grandchildren. I wanted that life so badly, and it was stolen from me. I was so close!" Her hands balled into fists and her nails dug into her palms. "I hate that we're stuck like this, never able to move forward." Her voice broke on the last word. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm herself.

She looked up to see Emmett staring at her, an almost judge-mental look on his face, and her anger flared again. Defensively, she said. "I had dreams, Emmett, and they died when I did. Now, I have nothing, and you can't understand that."

She turned her back, and in her despair, she said, "I'd rather be dead than live like this."

Emmett was in behind her in a second. He grabbed her arm, and she almost shrieked with surprise. His eyes were black, pain visible in their dark depths. "What am I? Nothing?" he spat.

"No, you're everything to me—" She almost couldn't bring herself to say the rest.

"But?" he persisted.

"But I can't just forget everything I wanted."

Emmett paused, licking his lips before asking in a low voice. "So, you're saying, that if you had the choice, between forever with me, and the life you dreamed for yourself all those years ago, you would choose the latter?"

She stared at him. Her expression could have been interpreted as cold, but really Rosalie felt more hopeless than she'd thought possible. This thing with Bella, it was like living that hell again, but this time the opportunity was wasted, rather than lost. Bella just didn't understand what it was like, being frozen in time, and never having those choices again. "I love you, Emmett. If I didn't have you, this life would have consumed me a long time ago. But if I could have it all, I wouldn't hesitate."

Emmett stared down at her, his eyebrows drawing low over his eyes. His hands balled into fists, and he was shaking so badly that Rosalie leaned further away from him. His grip on her arm was like iron. No matter how hard she tried to twist free, she couldn't. He looked away, closing his eyes, just for a second. Then, he released her and walked out of the room, slamming the door shut so hard that a crack ran up the wall.

Once he was gone, Rosalie crumpled to the floor. Without Emmett's strong arms to hold her up, she didn't have the strength to stand. She lay like that for hours. Alice came by once to knock on the door, asking if she was alright. Rosalie didn't answer, and eventually, she crawled under the sheets. Even though vampires didn't sleep, she let her body sink into the bedding, and she clutched her pillow close. Hours pasted, and then she heard heavy footsteps approach the door. She heard metal bending, and the walls cracked as Emmett pushed open the door. All the damage left it hanging on its hinges, but Emmett gently closed it. She didn't turn to look at him, but she heard him slip off his shirt and crawl into bed beside her.

His arms wrapped around her again, and she turned to bury her head in his chest. Because whether it was her choice or not, she would live forever. She didn't want to, and she hated that she was a blood-sucking monster, but she had Emmett. And god help her if she ever lost him. She dug her nails into her chest and clung to him. Holding her breath and letting the torment past.

As if reading her mind, Emmett looked down, only seeing the crown of her hair, because her head was still buried in his shoulder. He pulled her even closer, so he could whisper in her ear, "I know it pains you to think about what we could have if we were human. I know you think you lost something, but Rosalie, I will always be here. You're all I've ever wanted and all I'll ever want. I'll never leave you, and I will spend every day of forever trying to convince you that we have everything we need right here." He smoothed his hand up and down her back, soothing her until her body stopped shaking.

They spent the night wrapped in each other's arms, as Emmett said all the things he would do for her, to make her happy. And when the dawn broke, Rosalie's eyes were a little brighter. She looked at Emmett and sent a silent thank you to whatever forces brought him to her. She still yearned for a human life, but she knew that Emmett was worth the pain, and the certainty of tomorrow.


End file.
